Have you been introduced to...

Pappy C!


Meet my new CPAP machine. I call it Pappy C! Yes I did name my CPAP because I love it so much! I have been struggling with fatigue for quite some time and finally went to a doctor that decided to do a sleep study as opposed to medicating me like the last doctor I was going to. I described my sleeping habits to her and she felt that I might have sleep apnea.

The first step in the process was to see a Pulmonary doctor to be evaluated for a sleep study. Right after seeing the doctor I was informed that they were going to put a scope down my nose and into my airway to determine if a sleep study was necessary. I was shocked!! I wasn't told before hand that I would have to have this test done so I had not mentally prepared. (I am kinda a wuss with a very low pain tolerance) Turns out that it wasn't that bad. He had me do a breathing exercise that showed that my airway immediately collapsed. It was official then that I had sleep apnea he just wasn't sure of the severity.

Next came the sleep study. For those who have never had one, it is pretty uncomfortable. They did give me some medication to help me sleep but it really didn't help. I had a pretty restless night, mainly because all the wires glued to my head.

I received the test results a week later and was diagnosed with Severe Obstructive Sleep Apnea with Hyper-insomnia. Meaning that I quit breathing while sleeping and sleep to much to try get rest I need. I was given two options. The CPAP or a surgery that only has a 25% chance of working. I chose the CPAP. CPAP means Continuous Positive Airway Pressure. The machine is set a certain pressures to meet your sleeping needs. It makes it possible for you sleep and still maintain your airway and oxygen saturations.

It took me about a week to get used to it. The first mask I tried sat above my lip and under my nostrils. My nose was sore for a week! Plus if the seal would ever break I couldn't breath at all. Not great when you are trying to prevent not breathing episodes. The current mask I use is wonderful and it only took me one night to get used to it. I have a new found energy and I am in a much better mood. Even betteris that my migraines have decreased some due to the increased oxygen to my brain at night.

To sum it all up, I have found that either people love their CPAP's or hate them and I definitely love mine.

Am I proud of that fact that I need a machine to breath at night?? No!

Am I glad that there is a different alternative to surgery for my treatment?? Heck Yea!

My hope and the doctor's hope is that I won't need this machine forever but for now I am happy to have it. I was hesitant to share my new love of the CPAP with others and what a great help it has been in my life but knowledge is power right? Hopefully at least one of the maybe four people that actually read my blog got something out of it. If you didn't, I am sorry! I will try to say something really smart in the next post. :)
If you have any questions about the CPAP or anything of that nature, please leave me a comment and I will be happy to answer you, and if I don't know the answer I will look up something smart and educational! Night Everybody!!!

Today I...

• Saw children in Blount County and Jefferson County
• Had lunch with my friend/co-worker/supervisor/speech therapist (yes, she wears many hats)
• Prepared for a presentation I will be giving tomorrow
• Dropped my C-PAP card at the hospital and picked up a new one
• Went to the store to pick up items for the house such as milk, cake batter, icing, almond bark, and poop bags
• Got frustrated because I couldn't find said poop bags for the dog
• Started dinner
• Did the dishes
• Talked to my mom
• Finally took a picture of "Pappy C" to share with all of you in the next post
• Made a new cake recipe in hopes of using it for Brayden's birthday
• Got extremely frustrated because it wasn't turning out right(but we will eat it because I payed for it)
• Did the dishes again
• And wrote this post

Next on the Agenda? Bed

I like to move it, move it. I like to MOVE IT!

After two months with my new friend the CPAP (more on that later), I have realized how happy and energetic I have become. I have got into a bad habit of coming home in the evenings and sitting on the couch to watch TV and play on the computer. I figured I needed to move it, move it! So in an effort to move more I am trying to stick to only short times on the computer and couch. Today I took Sadie to the new dog park close to our house. It is a really nice park and I was surprised at how big it is. It is separated into small dogs, large dogs, and a reserved section. I have seen mostly full breed, yuppie dogs, while pretty, Sadie sticks out because she has been the only mutt. They still think she is cute despite her awkwardness. Sadie feels to threatened by the large dogs and she runs over the small dogs, so we sometimes end up in the reserved section if no one is using it. She really enjoys getting to run but she tires out easily because she is not used to that much exercise. She is still trying to socialize so we will see how it goes. I wanted to take a picture of her with the other dogs but she felt the need to nip at a puppy so we had to leave. Other things I have been trying to do is cleaning small portions of the house(not doing to well with that), making dinner, etc. This is just another step to improve my health and get my rear end off of the couch!!

Remembering Him

Today I remembered him...
My son, Brayden.

Brayden,
I remember your blond curls and soft skin...
I remember your scrunched up toes and long fingers
I remember how you used to grunt at me and blow your own nose
I remember how you tried to pull your button out on a daily basis
I remember the time that you were in the hospital and you looked at me with one tear rolling down your face
I remember how everyone fell in love with you as soon as they met you and I remember how you could talk anyone into holding you for hours.
I remember singing to you our favorite songs




I remember tracing your face with my fingers while you slept and your birthmark across your right eyelid
I remember laying with you in my bed waiting for your daddy to get home
I remember going to the hospital to have dinner with your daddy and when he picked you up, you would relax and melt into his arms like you had been waiting all day to see him

I remember your singing in the middle of the night

But most of all I remember when you would wake up each day and look at me like you were looking into my soul, and your eyes looked at peace with the world. These are only a few things that I remember about you. There are so many...to many to write.

Brayden Anthony Campbell

National Pregancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

October 15th has been dedicated to remembering our babies that have gone to soon. I invite you all to join me on October 15th by lighting a candle at 7:00pm to remember all the little ones that are no longer with us. I will be lighting a candle for my son but my prayers will be for the parents that are facing their loss now or will be in the future. Grief can be a life long process and many struggle through each day without the support of others. May they be able to have the strength to make it through the next minutes, hours, days, and years.

Click on the link below to learn more.

www.october15th.com

Brayden Baby Blankets

Close to one year ago my mother-in-law started making and collecting blankets in memory of my son. These blankets will be given to the local NICU's to help comfort the new babies and their families. We have also collected toys to be given to the local Children's Hospital where Brayden also spent time. On November 26th, Brayden's Birthday and also Thanksgiving, these items will be givin out to the local hospitals around Birmingham. To learn more click on the link below and join us in helping to provide comfort to the babies and their families.

www.myspace.com/braydenbabyblankets

A Visit to the Doctor

Today I went to the doctor to turn in some paperwork for the insurance company. I am trying to have a procedure done that I have been working towards and thinking about for two years. Please send good thoughts and prayers to the medical adviser at Blue Cross Blue Shield to approve my request. This will probably be my last time to try because I have tried to get it approved two times before. Third time's a charm, right! Hopefully my prayers will be answered this time.

Not Just Another Crib Toy

Part of my job involves me bringing toys into the home and engaging the child in age appropriate activities. So I am always on the look out for new and interesting toys.

A few weeks ago, one of my sessions got pushed back an hour so I headed to my favorite thrift store. I have been wanting this toy for awhile but unwilling to pay full price for it. This toy is designed to hang from crib rails and soothe your baby to sleep, but I have no use for that. I got this toy with the thought of using it with lower functioning children and this toy provides a great activity for cause and effect. The blue button is large enough to find and the toy activates at a light touch. It is also a great toy for my visually impaired children that are only able to see lights and shadows, because the fish sparkles and the toy will light up. The toy also provides very soothing music, and for the older children they are able to practice size differences with the "mama" fish and the "baby" fish.

Choices

Life is full of making choices. Myself and Hubby are facing some choices in our near future. One of them revolves around children. Since Brayden was born, I have been feeling a higher calling to adopt other children with special needs. So here comes the choices...if, when, and how.

When is a big choice for use to make. We want to make sure that we are ready. A lot of factors play into that but in reality are you ever "really" ready to raise a child. I can't not really say if we were "ready" for Brayden but he was conceived in love and God provided for us. I truly believe that He will continue to provide for us.

How?... another great question. I have researched several agencies in our area and we took the plunge and decided to meet with two of them. We will call them A and B.

Agency A has a good reputation and is Christian based. We met with Agency A in a group setting at a seminar. We were presented with a few options with them. International and Domestic. International is not for me because I feel strongly that there are so many children in the US that need homes. Plus the cost...unreal!
For their domestic program they work with birth mothers in several states and the cost is also seemed to much for us. The final strike came when they were unwilling to work with other states and their foster care systems to adopt those children. Sorry, this agency was not for us. I understand that many people chose this route with this agency and I would never fault anyone who did, but they are simply not for us.

So with my new found knowledge I contacted Agency B who is also Christian based and we met with them individually. I asked about the cost and when I commented on the difference I was told that, " We are here for the ministry not the money". They are also willing to work with other state agencies to find homes for those in foster care. From that point I knew that we were in the right place.

My final question...if...do I really want this? I DO really want this. I know that we can handle a special needs child. That is not the question. I have great fears about the future. I had the same fears with Brayden. Who will care for this child if something happens? What will this child be able to do once he or she is older? I figured that is the risk you take with every child but it gets more complicated with a child with special needs. I still feel the pull of this calling so I will continue to trust in God to provide and rid the fears that I have.

So once these choices are made, we will wait until our child finds us.