Choices

Life is full of making choices. Myself and Hubby are facing some choices in our near future. One of them revolves around children. Since Brayden was born, I have been feeling a higher calling to adopt other children with special needs. So here comes the choices...if, when, and how.

When is a big choice for use to make. We want to make sure that we are ready. A lot of factors play into that but in reality are you ever "really" ready to raise a child. I can't not really say if we were "ready" for Brayden but he was conceived in love and God provided for us. I truly believe that He will continue to provide for us.

How?... another great question. I have researched several agencies in our area and we took the plunge and decided to meet with two of them. We will call them A and B.

Agency A has a good reputation and is Christian based. We met with Agency A in a group setting at a seminar. We were presented with a few options with them. International and Domestic. International is not for me because I feel strongly that there are so many children in the US that need homes. Plus the cost...unreal!
For their domestic program they work with birth mothers in several states and the cost is also seemed to much for us. The final strike came when they were unwilling to work with other states and their foster care systems to adopt those children. Sorry, this agency was not for us. I understand that many people chose this route with this agency and I would never fault anyone who did, but they are simply not for us.

So with my new found knowledge I contacted Agency B who is also Christian based and we met with them individually. I asked about the cost and when I commented on the difference I was told that, " We are here for the ministry not the money". They are also willing to work with other state agencies to find homes for those in foster care. From that point I knew that we were in the right place.

My final question...if...do I really want this? I DO really want this. I know that we can handle a special needs child. That is not the question. I have great fears about the future. I had the same fears with Brayden. Who will care for this child if something happens? What will this child be able to do once he or she is older? I figured that is the risk you take with every child but it gets more complicated with a child with special needs. I still feel the pull of this calling so I will continue to trust in God to provide and rid the fears that I have.

So once these choices are made, we will wait until our child finds us.